adamishere.org

Do you sometimes feel it would be the best use of your remaining time to sit down and just read as many books as possible? I do. Just to do nothing else at all. Ever. And expire your final breath in the chair of reading.

I still feel the past and my experiences buried there as if they were the present. The big long now. Memories are bubble up and seem real in the moment and as if they are happening again and again.

This is a Joyce-an puzzlement: Carol Oates will write a short paragraph that uses two tenses of "penetrate."

Throbbing notes "penetrating." The Jesters who "penetrated" the very air

It's a feat.

There's a couple here, one wearing a Pantera shirt and one wearing a Mudvayne shirt. At least I assume they're a couple.

I like my kids to see me with a book in hand, if at all possible. Instead of scrolling or poking or prodding at a device. So I try to be up before them and be reading on the couch.

The Casey's clerk I met last night was planning to travel to Colorado, with her 4 kids and spouse, through the oncoming snowstorm, and into the already established mountain snowpack, for Christmas with the in-laws.

She seemed upbeat, but I would be cancelling.

I'm realizing more and more that I don't have a clue how to relate to teenagers.

I'm realizing more and more that I don't have a clue how to relate to teenagers.

I've spent so long pinning all my hopes on evenings of free time. It's difficult to break free from that. I need to minimize my expectations for what I can do in an evening. All the potential for self actualization does not rest in a single evening. And when you just need downtime, that's what you should be doing. Let your soul be your pilot. And your weariness is real But I also need to get a job.

The dilemma of "having a large, complex soul" that somehow in public manifests as a "thin, glassy trickle." From the Joyce Carol Oates feature in the 11/27 New Yorker. Struck me.

Recently began to use one of the British male Siri voices, and that was a good decision. They're better than the Americans.

On a side note, I tried to read Lauren Groff. Yes, Obama loved her - along with many others. It didn't click with me. Can't get past the name "Lotto." Lancelot? Give me a break. Who has time for it.

Johnny Marr finding that Gibson L-5 at the guitar shop was my favorite moment from this past months' New Yorkers.

Soccer practice in late November is maybe more tolerable than in mid August. But when it's breezy and about 50, things could feel better. Thank goodness for my midwestern wardrobe.

Do you ever see a random cozy building corner or an overpass and think That's where I would move if I didn't have housing.

There is also something solipsistic about the "laptop performance" concert. Which we also all can relate to.

It is the feat of harnessing a runaway laptop that is the engaging element of a live "laptop music" setting.

Will it be tamed or will it break or go its own way.

Morning pages: People don't understand the quantity of what I do because it is how someone else wants it. Someone else prefers it to be such and such a way.

I can't take the level of destruction happening in Gaza today. There have been 12,000 people killed. Indescribable horror and loss. Just so bad.

nowplaying XO by Elliott Smith.

This record is growing on me. Used to very much prefer the more stripped down acoustic records - but this one might be the sweet spot of what constitutes a True Sound - Quintessential.

Donating plasma is like practice for the medical intervention part of dying. Preparing to be stuck in a spot at the mercy of people in white coats. The build up and the fear and the release at the end when you get to arise and return home.